10 things I have learned in 2010

Eastenders, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, Prince, World Cup, x-factor

1. Kanye West, for all his eccentricities and ego issues, is a musical G and loves hip-hop. Regardless of what the ‘G’ stands for (Genius, Gangsta, Goofball) My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is one of the albums of the year.

2. Nicki Minaj totally sold out with that Pink Friday album. However, I can’t be mad at her because from that one guest appearance on ‘Monster’ she successfully slays all female emcees in the game. And most of the males too.

3. Global warming may not be the correct term for the big freeze that has engulfed the UK throughout this year. I loved the snow and our very British way of dealing with it – moan!

4. Make no mistake – Prince is a bad mamma jammer. He’ll steal your girl. And steal her high heels too.

5. I don’t begrudge any of those Chilean miners for pimping their 15 minutes of fame to the max. In fact, I look forward to Mining music videos and reality shows.

6. England will never host the World Cup while I am still fit enough to come on as a last minute sub. My childhood dream is over.

7. This Connor guy in Eastenders is proof that females are just as shallow as us guys. The twitter comments on his abs alone are enough to force me to go hard in the gym. Pause.

8. Justin Bieber is Usher’s pension plan and Mr Raymond is laughing all the way to the bizank.

9. Channel 4 have been responsible for the best programmes this year – Misfits, The Family (comedy gold) and This is England 86 (had me on edge pretty much every episode).

10. X-factor is fixed and this year it made no apologies for doing so. Autotune-gate, Gamu-gate, race-factor, Wagner… I could go on. BUT it was still the highlight of my Saturday nite and the tweets made it all the more enjoyable. Despite my personable beef with twitter (hold tight facebook mandem), x-factor and tweeting go hand in hand like… something that likes to hold hands. or something.

Don’t worry Treyc. I understand…

And with that I say “Goodbye 2010!”

L

R Kelly – A Letter

R. Kelly

This was inspired by R Kelly’s recent performances from his new album.

Dear Robert, Pied Piper, The R in RnB.

Where do I start? First of all, welcome back. It’s been a long time since you’ve made some grown man music. I mean, I’m not saying that you can’t make songs about having a good time but when you’re near enough 45 and talking about poppin bottles in the club and getting ‘crunk’, it just doesn’t seem age appropriate…

Then there’s the remixes upon remixes of songs that didn’t really need remixing; Ignition, Ignition remix, Step in the name of love parts 1 to 50, P*ss on you (original and remix). Oh wait… was that last one not you? Well, you get the point.

However, this new stuff that you’re bringing out has me enthused for you. It sounds like you’ve conquered those demons and started to grow old gracefully. The cornrows are gone, the mohawk cut down. You’re doing you.

Now we need to concentrate on a plan of action to ensure some longevity at this latter stage of your career. Here goes;

1. No more of this club talk. If you heard the music that these clubs were playing and saw the people that go there, you would know that this aint what’s popping these days. (Disclaimer – I do actually like clubbing. It’s just I’ve had one too many rubbish nights lately).

2. Gold plated cornrows. Brother please. Less is more and this was never, ever a look.

3. Cut down on the wacky gimmicks. Wearing a Pied Piper Mask at the height of those, ahem, ‘allegations’ probably wasn’t the best PR move.

4. Trapped in the Closet parts 1 – 5. Genius. 6 – 10. Cool. Anything after that just became a madness. Midgets, pastors, dinosaurs, Barbie dolls. I just don’t know. But it’s fine, you got it out of your system. There’s no need to revive the series. Just. Stop.

All things considered, you’re still one of the best in the game. A songwriting genius. All geniuses straddle that line between greatness and insanity and the music world is definitely in need of more characters like you.

Keep up the good work and stay making that feel good music that people can relate to on a cold winter’s day.

Peace out,

L

Some posts I have written

Uncategorized

No I haven’t been sitting idle all this time. I’ve been studying, turning 26 and working hard for the man.

I have also been doin some writing (intermittently). Check it out. Or Peep game, as the cool heads say:

Me and the homie (homette) Wendi-B used to get into debates at work and decided rather than waste employer’s time, we should thrash it out in blogworld. Battle of the sexes was born.

First discussion was (rather randomly) whether guys should wear make-up. Not something I’ve come across in day to day life, but hey:

http://tinyurl.com/37halen

Next post was more my comfort zone – music and award shows. *sigh* have they lost it? is music to blame? or are there darker forces at hand. Once again, Wendi and I bump heads and attempt to get to the bottom of it all…

http://tinyurl.com/32o9goh

Deuces.