My Beef With Twitter

Beef, Facebook, Twitter

So, in my last post, I sort of ‘not-so-subtly’ alluded to my beef with twitter.

Yes, if you look to the right you can see my personal twitter feed and some of my oh-so-witty comments coming through. Except, Twitter and I have a somewhat strained relationship and its taken me a while to realise it.

At the moment, there are two major social networking sites on the interwebs. Facebook and Twitter (RIP myspace – we barely knew ye). I love Facebook and even though it’s now been milked to almost an inch of it’s virtual life, it still remains one of those mainstays. You click on that ‘home’ button and you feel safe. You’ve got your different friendship groups from all walks of life. From primary school to college to work. I may not speak to them in real life but on Facebook we’re friends.

Then I get to twitter. Well, there’s not as many of my friends there… But there are celebrities so that’s gotta be cool, right? They must be putting the world to rights with some witty, entertaining but yet thought-provoking anecdotes. Well, nah not really. What with Tyrese unintentionally hilarious words of wisdom Chris Brown‘s grammatical errors, the celebs have been a let down (Usher, I see you son). The problem with these celebs is that many of their accounts are label owned so if you follow Jay-Z, for instance, then the most exciting tweet you get from him is ‘album out in stores now’ or ‘go buy my book’ or just ‘follow me’.

Shout-out to

I guess out of all the ‘uber’ celebs, one of most entertaining, in my humble tweeting opinion so far has been probably….well…yeah…ok…I’m gonna say it. Mr Curtis Jackson 50 Cent. Yeah, I know. I hated writing that as much as you hated reading that. His tweets aren’t for that faint hearted but his stupidity does make for an interesting read.

Aside from the celebrity banter and what-not, the world of  Twitter seems almost…lonely. I guess with Twitter, you need to invest a lot of time into it and build up your own following because more often than not, you’re gonna have to promote the hell out of yourself *cough* follow me *cough* to get the most out of it. And this is probably where I’m failing.

See, in my head the stuff that I tweet is, in the words of Missy Elliot, da hot $h!t. There it is. I said it. I tweet works of art; things that I wouldn’t usually say in person. Comedy gold if you will. Sadly I feel like I’m largely unheard. The odd retweet here, the odd response there, just doesn’t quite cut the mustard with me. I want the million followers and I want to be following about 10 people. My ego needs to be caressed damnit and this Twitter thing isn’t satisfying the needs of a budding superstar in the making (of what, is neither here nor there).

I guess with anything new, it requires perseverance. Rome wasn’t built in a day, as they say. But I think for now, while Twitter has it’s quirks and is my secret little fling on the sizzide, Facebook will remain my wifey. For now anyway (follow me!).